If you haven't seen the four-part series ‘Adolescence,’ you may be one of the few.
The series explores how young men are being fed rage, entitlement and violence by algorithms – transforming their online experiences from harmless to devastating, even deadly. Highlighting the notion 'it takes a village to raise a child,' Adolescence shows us how it also takes a village to destroy many.
The fictional character of Jamie is in many ways an ‘average’ teenage boy. He goes to school, has friends, spends time on his phone, and has well-meaning, imperfect parents. It is this lack of uniqueness – in Jamie and the world in which he lives that is so chilling; Jamie is like so many young men whose attitudes to women and girls is shaped by the online world and how it plays out in real life.
The pathway from disrespect to violence
Adolescence brings us into a teenage landscape of social media feeds filled with harmful ideas about sex, consent, what it means to be a man, and the worth of women and girls. It depicts boys wrestling with shame and social isolation. How they feel when they don't measure up to traditional gender expectations, like being sporty or having sexual prowess. How those feelings of inadequacy impact their relationships with their fathers and peers. How they seek connection and identity online, where the seeds of hatred for women and girls are sewn by content creators who position women as objects and conquests of male desire.
The power of Adolescence is in how it captures the pathway from misogyny and disrespect to violence - and the missed opportunities to intervene along the way.
What if Jamie was encouraged to celebrate his love of drawing instead of being ashamed he couldn't live up to his dad's sporting hopes? What if he and those boys around him had been taught what a healthy and respectful attitude to sex looked like? What if an adult had been curious about the online world of these boys, asked questions, prompted reflection?
Without laying explicit blame on one village member, the series outlines the numerous settings and influences shaping - and distorting - young men's world view.
It also shows starkly the impact of letting these influences and distortions go unchecked and unchallenged – an impact that is borne by women and girls. In this case it is Jamie’s victim Katie, and the splintering impact it has on her friend Jade and Jamie’s sister Lisa, and the rage and vitriol directed by Jamie at his psychologist Briony.
The power of a conversation
The show has sparked a global conversation. Older boys and men see themselves in Jamie, having wrestled with the same angst and wondering what might have been if the manosphere had reached out from a screen, made them feel less alone, stoked their emotional immaturity with misogynistic rhetoric.
If the pen is mightier than the sword, then face to face conversation is mightier than the screen. Conversations are an essential part of ending violence against women. They help to uncover and challenge ideas that support, excuse, and justify violence. They identify the warning signs of violence, how we understand the need to act, and what actions will be safe and effective.
Starting these conversations can be daunting, but Adolescence has delivered us a moment. Now is the time to talk to boys and young men about the reality of violence - against themselves and women. It’s a conversation to be had not just by parents, but with teachers, coaches, extended family, friends and anyone looking to raise a generation of men who have healthy, respectful and safe relationships.
Here are 3 tips to get the conversation started with the young people in your life.
Start talking
Have age-appropriate conversations with young people about what they’re seeing online, about dating, about consent, and about what healthy and unhealthy relationships look like. It’s okay to be uncomfortable or not have the right words – lots of regular and relaxed chats are more important than one big sit-down lecture. Be curious and stay curious. Ask questions.
Empower kids with digital literacy
Have conversations about online safety before children join social media. The eSafety commission has resources for parents and young people to help kids stay safe online, including topics like cyber bullying and online dating.
Encourage young people to think critically about what they're consuming. Who is making this content? What is their motivation for posting? Doing so helps them recognise the harmful ideas – like sexism and misogyny – hiding behind seemingly benign content.
Keep an open dialogue
Young people are more likely to make safe choices when adults have early protective conversations. That’s why it's important to talk with young people about things like the risk of being pressured or tricked into sending nudes, or that their nudes might be shared in ways they never intended.
If you’re a parent or caregiver, let a young person know you’re there to help them whenever they have questions about issues like pornography, sex and sexting – even if you find out that something has gone wrong online or they think they’ve made a mistake. This will help them understand they can trust you.
Keep your cool if your child experiences a negative experience online. Remember, the choices they make as they navigate difficult situations can help them learn and build their resilience.